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First, we must agree that there is a difference between the famous and the influential, between dazzle and influence, and between virtual and real influence. Influence is a deep process that is not instantaneous and takes place after the stage of dazzle with a celebrity through the virtual world and imitating him for a short period, but rather a complex, long and gradual process. Reaching it requires crossing bridges of trust, passing through stations of experience and experimentation that make you a group of people who possess the knowledge and skill to influence others, and before that, a mentality that is willing and able to influence others.

This mentality has a set of secrets that it starts from, including:

1. A mindset that has emotional curiosity:

Van Edwards says she has discovered that if you want to arouse emotions and influence people, you have to pump dopamine into the brains of others! Dopamine is stimulated by raising the bar of pleasure, reward, motivation, and love for yourself and others so that you can be influenced and influenced. So it is important to have a high level of emotional curiosity to make others feel important. Asking about the emotional state of others satisfies an important need in them, and this satisfaction makes them see you as influential. It is important to ask open-ended questions that get people talking about themselves and their secrets, and this will help you build a deep relationship, according to researcher Diana Tamir.

2. A clever mind in stories:

The brain is greatly influenced by stories, and your ability to stimulate the minds of others through stories is one of the tools of influence and being influenced, and many influencers may only have this tool and yet have a large number of people influenced. Storytelling requires a set of skills, whether in choosing the story, the timing of telling the story, the way of telling the story, and the dialogue before and after telling the story. You also need a strong language, whether verbal or physical, as language is a language of calling or repelling, so the more you have a leadership language in your words and body, the broader, greater and deeper your influence will be.

3. Open-mindedness that accepts guidance:

People run away from the perfect person who pretends to be strong! They are affected by the person who is open about his feelings to others, who mentions his weaknesses, who does not make them feel inferior or that he is better than them and that he is the center of the universe. It has also been shown that asking for help is one of the best things you can do, and this is known as the Benjamin Franklin effect, by asking for advice and opinions of others and seeking their guidance, this makes them feel that they are an added value, and thus their desire to communicate with you increases and they feel that you are influential.

4. A mentality that dialogues intelligently:

It has been shown that people differ in their method of effective dialogue, so you must have the ability and desire to dialogue with others in the way they like, not the way you like. Some people like rational dialogue based on logic and evidence, some people tend towards emotional dialogue, some people tend towards dialogue that arouses curiosity and opens the way for more contemplation and questioning, some people tend towards dialogue based on procedural solutions and proposals, some people tend towards dialogue in which they listen more than they speak, and some people tend towards the opposite.

Influential mindset:

- She has emotional curiosity.

- Good at stories

- Open-minded and accepting of guidance

- Talk intelligently